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331060

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No Pen

1 min read
So here I am. Finally with a tiny bit of time and motivation to draw... and just as luck would have it, I seem to have lost my Bamboo tablet pen. Not to mention I just got a workout going up and down 6 flights of stairs looking for it. :( Figures. I guess it's time to try out some finger painting. This isn't going to go so well.
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No Motivation

1 min read
Man, I really need to find some motivation. I haven't posted anything in over a year. O.O
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Unstrung

1 min read
:la: I just found out that one of my favorite books of all time is going to be a trilogy!!!! :la: I can't contain my excitement or wait until the rest of the books come out! :w00t: I still need to finish my inheritance book, though. xD I hope I'll have the time soon. :eager:
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I'm Still Alive

9 min read
Hey guys, it's that time of year again. The time when everyone all of a sudden has time to do whatever and starts spamming with an onslaught of artworks and claims of boredom. However, I won't be participating this year. School might be over technically, but I will still be very busy. Yes, I know, I am aware that I haven't submitted nor drawn anything in months. It truly is a shame. Unfortunately I have other things to do. I have found, growing up, that I have displayed a small talent and interest in many things, but lately, I have also discovered that when you tell others of what things you like to pursue, they expect you to be an expert in them. I guess it's just that it is normal to have only one talent or interest and that that person would pour their heart and soul into that profession or hobby, therefor becoming an expert. In this society I live in, I am not able to excel by pursuing all my dreams. I have found, that I need to focus on one, like most do, even though I will be leaving many behind. Disappointingly to the dA community, art is only 3rd on my list of priorities right now (4th actually if you count school), simply because I do not have confidence that it will ever lead to a prosperous career. This is why I will be putting most of my time into other things that I need to perfect and not be spending near as much time drawing as I have already been doing (although up until this point, that was due to schoolwork and extracurricular activities). I apologize profusely. I do miss doing artwork, although I am at a point where I've been disconnected from dA and the entertainment world for so long that my brain is as good as dead in these fields and I have little motivation for it anyway. I won't stop completely by any means. I don't think that will ever happen. I can't ever just give up something that I once and still do love so much. It's just going to be in the back of my mind for a while. Even though I won't have as much time as most others do, I hope I still manage to upload something at some point. Not only that, but I owe XSilverInterceptionX a commission that they've probably been waiting for months for. (If you're reading this, it may still be a while til I get it done, but it's definitely at the top of my drawing list) Hopefully I'll be able to get around to faving and commenting on all you guy's stuff again over the summer, although I wouldn't count on it. Not only that, but I was looking through my like 11000 messages (more like burning through my 11000 messages) and noticed that many have disappeared. I don't understand this. I realize that there is a limit on the number of deviations that can set in one folder at one time, but a lot of my friend's stuff was gone too. I'm pretty sure they didn't reach the limit... So, I don't know, if I get the chance I'll have to manually look at you guys' profiles if I want to actually see anything from over a month ago. It's such a shame, though.
On other notes, I just got an iPod classic. I have never spent that much money in one spot before, but I think it was about time. I've gone several months without my music because my mp3 player finally broke (yes, that same one that I actually accidentally ran over at one point, even though it managed to survive that) and I think I was starting to go through withdrawal because of it. Music is practically everything to me, and I needed to have access to it on the go. I finally chose the classic because it's relatively cheap if you consider the gig available (not that I'd ever use that much). I'm just a little concerned because they say it's fragile since it has an external hard-drive. So far it's really nice. The organizational abilities is my favorite aspect so far because my old mp3 play didn't hardly have any organization to it. Occasionally it would put a song in a folder that is attributed to a particular artist, but most of the time it would just list all the songs and I'd have to press through the buttons so try and find what I wanted. And I could just have forgotten about genre organization. My old mp3 player served its purpose, but I'm very happy to have my iPod now. I'm a little surprised at how big it is, but it's not that bad of a trade off for the probably like 20,000 songs it can hold (I don't think that's the actual number, but I'll never need to find out) I also like that iTunes automatically syncs music in your library. Before, I had to spend a lot of time hand picking songs to sync and I'd also spend an eternity changing the file type so it was compatible. Another trade off, though, is that it doesn't seem to understand certain cover art. Some shows up and some doesn't. That's not a big problem at all though, considering my old mp3 player had no cover art whatsoever.
Anyway, I digress. Another thing is that we have 5 kittens here at my house. They are the most adorable things! And they're so friendly. They let me pet them all the time. They're still really young and have only opened their eyes recently, but if any of my real life friends want any, let me know, because I know that we won't be able to keep them all.
Again, my left arm has been hurting so much for the past several months. It's not even an explained pain. It's not like I use it for much of anything other that piano or typing, which I haven't done much lately (except right now of coarse). I'm really worried, and am in so much pain. I want it to go away so bad.
I was so sad when I found out that I had a B+ in my math class. I had worked so hard for the A- that I wanted so bad in that class (not because it's really that much better, but for the sake of saying I have all As, because apparently 99% of A's just isn't good enough for critics) I even got a 95% on my final that was supposedly a 6th of our overall grade (this is a serious accomplishment, almost a miracle actually) and yet it didn't even budge my 89%. I almost cried when I found out. Not only that, but there was a bonus that could have apparently improved my grade by up to 3%. Of coarse, the teacher decided not to tell us this until after it was due. If I had known that I would have stayed up all night working on it. I didn't do it because I had a blue million things to work on as it was and I really would have had to spend several all nighters to get the bonus done as well (not that I was already practically spending several all nighters with what I already had to do). I felt like it would just be one of those projects that I'd pour my heart and soul into and happily get a good grade on it, but for it to not budge my grade and have all that work be for nothing (just like my final that I spent ages studying for). Plus, I was not exactly in a good position other than time-wise to be able to do the bonus anyway. I felt like some kids had an unfair advantage that had nothing to do with their own abilities or how hard they worked. I know, you guys are all like "a B+! What's this nerd complaining about!? I would kill to have that grade." I'd like to remind you guys that grades are relative to how hard you actually work. Yeah if you truly work yourself to blood, sweat, and tears (and mostly tears) like I do, and yet you're only getting B's, then you have every right to feel frustrated. It's a reflection on you limitations. And I really don't like limitations. I have shown that I try my best, and that there is really no room for improvement. It just makes me sad. It's like I've come to a barrier that I can't cross no matter how much I want to. I suppose it's more important to care about what I'm actually learning rather than my grade, but that grade somewhat reflects what I've actually learned and retained. Also, not only are grades relative to how hard you work, they're also relative to your own personal standards. When before now I've had only one B in my lifetime, there's actually a lot of pressure for me to continue that trend. It's a much bigger let down to have a lower grade from high standards, than it is for those who have low standards. Also, those with low standards, also tend to have lower expectations, so don't go around making me feel bad for actually caring, because saying that a B+ is still great doesn't make me feel any better, even though I know it's logical.
Anyway, my rant is over. I know it was really long, but it's about time I was able to get this stuff off my chest. I don't expect anyone to read all this (and if you are and have gotten to this point, congratulations, because you're almost to the end), but it all needed to be said anyway. Besides, I've been gone for so long, this kind of makes up for it. I have high hopes for this summer, and I hope it's better than last year's. I hope you guys have good summers too. Now I think it's time I finally get some sleep...
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Kony 2012

2 min read
If you haven't already, you guys must watch this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4Mnpz…
Spread the word!

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